I love games – card games, board games, sports games, etc. 

I also love gambling. 

And, if I’m being honest, what I really love is winning. Why play if not to win? 

My love for games blossomed during my time as a staff member at the Boys & Girls Club. During college, I was paid to play games all afternoon with middle schoolers, and I absolutely loved it. I never let the kids win when we played games…maybe because I’m ruthless, or maybe because my job was to help build their resilience and character — maybe both; I’ll let you be the judge. 

My love for gambling came from my dad. My memories of him are vast, but many of them involve his love of gambling. Our summers were spent at the Del Mar Race Track, followed by a trip to McDonald’s for an ice cream cone, and then, if we were really lucky (and probably if he won), we’d go to the beach afterwards. Our family trips to Las Vegas to visit my grandparents and him disappearing into the sports book all day. And then once we were old enough to gamble with him, we played bingo or craps on the machines with him. I can hear the virtual game say, “Push the button…come on…you can do it…push the button!

I got the horse right here
The name is Paul Revere
And here’s a guy that says if the weather’s clear
Can do, can do
This guy says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do
Can do, can do

Frank Loesser. “Fugue for Tinhorns” from Guys and Dolls.

Today is my dad’s birthday, and he would have been 71.  Tonight, I’ll head to watch a soccer game (which he never really got into except when we watched Germany win the World Cup on my birthday in 2014). I know he would get a kick (no pun intended) out of where I ended up, what I’m doing, who I’ve met along the way, and all the places I’ve been. It’s been 9 years since he’s been gone, and it feels like yesterday and like he’s been gone forever all at the same time. 

Okay – back to it…so naturally, I love game shows. You play a game AND can win money? Sign me up!

Some of you might know that I was on a game show. In 2011, I went on “Let’s Make a Deal” with Wayne Brady, and in a hilarious turn of events, I was picked to in the opening game of the show. I didn’t win anything super noteworthy — a coffee table, coffee for a year, and a Keurig machine. It was a blast, and even though I could have won a trip to Ireland if I hadn’t taken the coffee table deal, I still remember it so fondly. I feel like I’ll be an old lady watching the Game Show Network one day, and my episode will air, and it will be hilarious. 

A year later, I somehow convinced my family to go downtown to audition for “Family Feud”. At the time, all six of us went and we waited all morning to play a one-round game against some random family in front of a full room of strangers and a panel of judges. We advanced to the next round and interviewed with the producers. Honestly, I think we charmed them all —  and one lady especially loved my dad. 

In my (maybe not-so-humble) opinion, I think the reason we ultimately weren’t selected to participate was that there were six of us, and the game is played with five.  We were all too good, so they just couldn’t cut one of us. 

It took me a LONG time before I could watch Family Feud without being bitter. One of my favorite shows became a constant reminder that we didn’t get picked. I’d watch families, far less charming than ours, go on, win multiple rounds, and win tens of thousands of dollars — and sometimes even a new car. Once the pain settled, I could stomach it again, but there is still a little twinge of jealousy served on the side. 

I notice that when I am watching game shows, I usually have one of two reactions. I am either really pumped for the people on the show, rejoicing in their win, or rooting for the underdog. Or, I’m pissed. I’m jealous, annoyed, and bitter because it should’ve been, would’ve been, could’ve been me.

And this sentiment obviously goes beyond my game show binging, which most recently included Pop Culture Jeopardy on Amazon Prime. Highly recommend.

We all have one scenario in front of us, but lots of different ways to react. This is the spiritual battle we all have to fight. 

I started going to a Jesuit Parish and am newly surrounded by lots of St. Ignatius of Loyola fans. As I continue to learn more about him, his spiritual exercises, and the discernment of spirits, I can’t help but reflect upon my own experience and recognize the times and spaces in my life where I react, or “take action” as St. Ignatius would say — “to accept and live according to what we have recognized as of God, and to reject and remove from our lives what we have recognized as not of God.”*

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”. – Philippians 4:8

So, Steve Harvey, keep fighting the good fight. 
St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us. 
Daddio, happy heavenly birthday! I miss you terribly.